Blog, Poems, Teachings
A place to record all of the above.
A place to record all of the above.
Yes, I am spiritually advanced in many ways. More than I usually talk about. HOWEVER, I am still human and go through human experiences. I am definitely on my own journey of self discovery. Which I don't always talk about either.
This being said, the following poem, will give you insight to the dark side a.k.a. the shadow piece of me. We all have a shadow side. My question to you is...Are you willing to embrace it?
Depression for all to see
for all of Eternity.
So it begins...
Do you think it'd be this way?
Do you think I'd care?
Do you think it's the chosen way?
Do you even care?
In silence is suffering.
No need to see the pain
No one dares to define it,
The way it really is.
Depression for all to see
For all of Eternity.
Do you ever stop to wonder?
Do you think it matters?
Do you ever stop wonder,
What's written behind the veil?
Spiraling down, down, down
No where to turn, turn, turn
It's about to get real,
As real as can be.
For it's all just an illusion,
So much so that we all believe it.
Crazy what you will believe to keep the dream alive.
DOWN with the righteousness!
DOWN with the apathy!
DOWN with the polarization!
DOWN with the suffering in silence.
It's all wrong for me.
Tortured no longer I will be
At the hands of only me.
Depression for all to see
For all of Eternity. ©
For those with eyes to see and ears to hear...until next time.
How did it lead to this point?
How did it get so real?
When did the fear take over?
Why did I let others talk me into waiting,
When my body knows best?
Heels in the stirrups, flat on my back
Take deep breaths
A pinch and a poke that's all it is
Heart racing, hearing gone, high as a kite
Seemingly no end in sight.
Emotions that were bottled for years,
Are now for all to see
So hard for those to witness
Just let me be
Suffering in Silence for too many years
You dirty whore,
You filthy woman
Always lingering, but never an end
Embarrassed, but no more.
Lighter! Lighter! Can you believe?
Sigh, it's over. Take deep breaths
Relax the best I can
Giggling at the absurdity
Joking at the rigidity
All of the while, real, raw and exposed.
Tender, tender, tender is the night
Comfort, safety and support
Wrapped in a loving embrace,
Only I can provide.
Moving forward as I only know how.
Grown, different, changed.
Vulnerable, real, raw and exposed.
Powerful beyond measure.
Real, Raw and Exposed
For all of the world to see
All of which this I chose
and now I choose to be ©
Life puts us in situations that constantly challenge us to grow and expand. It is up to us how we choose to experience those situations. It is we who decide whether it is a good or bad situation. We create that polarity. Regardless of how we perceive it, it is an opportunity to expand consciousness. Let me share with you what I recently experienced to grow and expand.
I decided to go see my absolute favorite band perform this past weekend. The closest they came to my area was 3 hours away. ROAD TRIP! I was beyond excited. I knew that night would definitely be life changing, I just didn't know how. You see, the last time I saw them was when I finally acknowledged that I wanted to work with musicians.
As we approached the venue, I started to get very nervous. Was it my excitement? Anticipation? My intuition? Reflecting on the night, it was majority my intuition with a little anticipation mixed in to the scenario.
We watched the first band, cool, the second band came on and the energy shifted downward. I was not resonating with their music or performance at all. I observed the audience and it was fascinating how they seemed to almost be in a trance. I could delve further into this band, but that is for another day. Three quarters of the way through their performance, the experience presented itself for my growth.
Two women came up behind my daughter and me. If you are familiar with general seating, then you know it is standing room only. You tend to become very familiar with those around you. There was however, still a fair amount of room since it wasn't the main act. One of the women proceeded to bump into my daughter and I heard her say I am sorry. Great. Shortly after that, I felt liquid splashing on my back from her drink.
I turned to her (the same woman) and said, "Hey your drink is spilling." She looked right at me and said, "Chill out, it's just a concert." Mind you, I felt no aggression in my being. I was sharing this with her because I didn't want to have her drink spilled all over me and I didn't know if she was aware that her drink was spilling, it was completely full. I responded with, "I really don't want to have it on my ass." Her response? She threw the entire drink in my face.
I immediately couldn't see, nor could I open my eyes because they burned so much. I thought to myself, do they put acid in mixed drinks nowadays? Every one around my was asking if I was alright, but the most pressing matter at hand was getting the liquid out of my eyes, if I was going to be able to see, and if I still had contacts. The next moment, was the defining moment. How was I going to respond to her?
My response was none at all. I didn't turn around and acknowledge her again. In that moment, I made the choice to stay silent, immediately feeling and recognizing the pain she is in from many things in her life. I was also not going to leave the concert. My band wasn't even performing yet! ** In the distant past, I definitely would have retaliated. I have evolved since then.
According to my daughter she did back up...probably not sure if I would retaliate or not. Shortly after that she moved a littler further in front of us to the left. She tried to make eye contact with me, but I wouldn't further engage with her. That was the best I could do in that moment.
I was not going to engage her in any way. I could feel that would just exacerbate The turmoil that was within her. I had no desire to continue to be the outlet for it. I focused inward, as to how I could bring myself back to my peaceful state.
Yes, it did rattle me. I would love to say that it didn't. That would definitely not be a true statement. I was relieved when my band finally came on stage and changed the vibration of the room. I did take note that she left at the start of the song called "How Did You Love." ;-) I had a fabulous, sticky, one contact time enjoying every moment after the interaction! (yes, I realized later that one of my contacts got washed out of my eye)
Moving forward, I still have choice. I choose not to be a victim. I choose to allow whatever emotions to arise to flow. I know that I did the best I could in that moment. I choose to learn from the experience. Maybe she did too, or not. That is up to her. But may she be blessed in all that she does. I choose only love. Love of myself, love for everyone around me and love for her.
I have heard from many in how they would have reacted. What they would have done. (How can one really know until you are in the situation?) How would you ultimately like to respond in a situation like the story I shared? Would you have gotten in her face? Punched her? Gotten security? Another response?
No matter what the scenario is, remember this, we are all doing the best we can in every moment. Yes....even the woman. How aware we are on our consciousness definitely plays a role in our responses.
For those with eyes to see and ears to hear. I love you.
Until next time...
** A very fascinating note was that three more fights broke out to the right of us after that interaction. The power of the vibration of the music being played, the people's vibration played a role.
Big changes are on the horizon (aren't they always! ) for all of us in 2018 and beyond. While the fire is being lit from within, (Divine Feminine Energy) we are being lovingly directed as to why we decided to incarnate at this time. It will look different for each and every one of us! Embrace every fiery moment as if you chose it! (because you did) When you utilize the fire as fuel, it will transform and catapult you in ways beyond what you can imagine.
Let's delve a little further into the energies. (This may ruffle a few feathers.) ;-) What has been spoken by several is that there will be a big wave that will be ocurring sometime in March. Kind of is my answer. This has already been taking place and will continue to ensue. It just depends on your level of awareness as to when you become awake to it. For those that are speaking of this, they are just becoming aware of the energetic shifts and waves that are already happening. Yes, these beings are awake, and some extremely so in some aspects.
This wave is supposed to bring cataclysmic events. Through, finance, government, nature, society, etc.. If we go by science and follow the cycle of the wave, it doesn't just show up as a big blip and then done. It starts, increases until it's crest and then subsides. And there is never just one.... Why would we think just one wave will do it? Maybe yes, maybe no... Ponder that...
Remember, there is no right or wrong, just how awake each and everyone of us is in our consciousness. May I suggest to deepen your connection with yourself and Spirit, so that you may expand Consciousness! Yes, we all play a critical role in this! The more you deepen, the less you know, and the more you awaken.
For those with eyes to see and ears to hear.
Until next time...
Hi there! I know it's been a minute since I have written a regular post. I frankly haven't known what to write about. Not that there aren't transformational shifts that happen with me moment, by moment, but rather, how do I put some of what is occurring into words? Rather than delve into what has already occurred in the time I have been away from typing, I will share with you something that happened as recent as yesterday.
Please bear in mind that this awareness that came to me is not completely new. I just experienced it from a different place. A different vibration. A more expanded place. A whole new paradigm for me.
Have you ever asked someone to repeat what they said because you weren't listening? Maybe your thoughts were on your day, or an event that already happened, or one that will happen in your future. It's possible that you have just pretended that you were listening , nod your head and say appropriate words so it seems like you are listening. ;-) Yes, we have all done this. There is something else that can ensue during an interaction.
Here's what happened for me during a conversation yesterday. I was feeling and focusing so much on the energy of the words and the person, that I wasn't hearing the words in how they were presenting the story. I wasn't thinking about anything other than following the energy of the words and person. At the end was a question for me (one in which I couldn't answer at that moment) and I explained what just happened , so I asked them to repeat it. They laughed and were so gracious to repeat what they said, so I could focus on the words this time.
This is not the first time this has happened. This happens often. I usually don't share with others that it is ocurring. I am so in the moment of nonverbal that I lose the verbal. My language is energy, vibrations, non-physical sight, etc. Not words. Yes, most times I am very articulate when I choose to use words. However, there are many times when I feel words are the foreign language. The further I am on my journey, the more foreign words become.
What does this mean for me? Great question! I do feel that it further aligns me with my purpose. (Think the ultimate vibration) It also shows that I am integrating more of my Soul, the light being I am into this human form. YAY! There might be a point that I no longer speak a language that will use words at all. Cool.
What does it mean for you? For those that can sense/feel/see energy, go beyond the words, AND be present with the person. HA! HA! play with it, if you feel compelled. You might be blown away. If you start to recognize all beings native language (energy and vibration), cool. If not, it's ok. Just know, that it will be you when you are ready on your journey.
For those with eyes to see and ears to hear.
Until next time....
Back and forth,
back and forth,
Or so it seems.
A little piece here
A little piece there,
for those that are ready to see and hear
the knowledge, message and information
Available to us all.
Right in front in plain sight,
Yet we do not see,
we do not know,
we cannot see for
We are in it,
Not of it.
From a place so foreign to most,
The hourglass drops
the grains of sand in a systematic
approach that has no pattern at all,
Or does it?
Within the so called pattern
Is an unending thing called life,
embrace it especially if it's not understood,
the reason may be foreign
But trust, trust, trust my friends,
You will know when you need to know.©
Staring at the space in front of my eyes,
Not truly seeing all that there is to know.
Why am I truly blind to the truth I know?
Beauty is the creation of all of us.
Only you can feel the depth
Of just how much truth there is to be.
Come along to the place where no one knows,
Yet everyone remembers.
I dare you to step over the threshold
Into the space between the space.
The depth within the depth.
The dark that is the light.
The no end and no beginning,
As is your path and journey amongst it.
The Truth may be found within you all along.
We are the creators of all and nothing.
Embrace the nothing.
The more you embrace, the less you know.
The less you know, the more you are.©
*For those with eyes to see and ears to hear*
Forging your own path. Being a Pioneer of Light. What does that mean for you? Where in your consciousness does that land? Is it doing something different than your family and friends? A new career? Being the first one to go to college? May I suggest pondering those questions before continuing on with this post.
While consciousness has been ever expanding, the present Now's energies have never been available to us. (And yes, it has already occurred, but that is a topic for a different day!) With energies that are newly accessible, why would we choose to do things the same way they have been done? Because that is what you are told to do? Because that's what your parents, grandparents, etc. have done? Sure, go ahead. There will be plenty of opportunity for more of the same. However, everyone is screaming for change, that something has to change! How else does something change unless we are willing to forge a new path?
There have been many, many, MANY! wonderful teachers, leaders and explorers (some famous and some not so famous) that have opened the way for us to be where we are right now. How did they get us here? By taking a path unknown. Were they ostracized? Most definitely! Did they step out of their comfort zone? Absolutely! Were they way ahead of their time? Most Likely! Have you connected to the point that is coming?
Are you ready to risk the chance of being stoned, ostracized, threatened, etc. to pioneer the expansion of consciousness? To be loved and hated in the same breath? (not say this will happen, but the possiblity is there.) To serve others on the deepest level you chose to in this lifetime? To step out of your comfort zone, because your Soul's mission is specific? To recognize that the purpose of forging the path is bigger than anyone of us and all of us combined?
Yep. I am throwing lots of questions at you. As you can see however, these questions are asking you to step into your greatness that you already are. You are not alone in stepping into the unknown. There are many of us that are being the Pioneers. And when you are in your power, it doesn't matter what is thrown your way!
I too am forging my own path. Stepping out in more ways than I ever imagined. Will a rattle a lot of people? HELL YES! I already do, why not shake it up a bit more! Is it scary at times for me? YES! However, I know that my mission is way bigger than Nicole. And that, my friends, is worth more than mere words.
So forge on my friends, and may this awareness give you the strength to be a pioneer of light. I love you. You got this.
Until next time...
Wow! It's so hard to believe that it has been over a month since I last posted. Not that it matters since time is happening all at once right?!?! Ha! Ha! I have been working on several projects and I am excited to say one is about to launch. Stay tuned for the latest update!
On we go....Today's topic is patterns. Patterns that are not only in how we go about our lives, but patterns within the DNA.
First, how often are you able to step back and observe patterns in your life? We all tend to have a blind spot when it comes to our blocks, patterns, etc. Yes. Every single one of us. If you don't think you do, then maybe that in itself is your block and pattern. ;-)
You could very well be a person that is aware of some of their patterns, but has no clue how to change them. I would say there are a fair amount of us that this happens to. The next question is, do you seek out others to help you, do work on your own to change, or do you do nothing at all?
Let's take it a step further to part two. the patterns within the DNA. Do you believe that we can change the patterns that are in our DNA? Is there some part (maybe a large part) that believes that genetics are who we are and that's it? That I have inherited this "stuff" through my DNA and so it is. What if I were to tell you that that is not the case? Does that send your brain into protest? GOOD.
Yes. DNA can be repatterned. I see it daily in my practice--Within myself and others. Sometimes subtle shifts, sometimes huge shifts. Do I still have questions surrounding this? YES! Of course. I know instanteous healing (no matter what it is) is available to all of us. I have known this for, well, my whole life. ;-) The fact I have seen many miraculous shifts, healing, or however you want to say it, just gives me more fuel to know it's there, here, everywhere. If it is in the awareness, then it's possible.
They have proven that is is possible to change our DNA through food, intentions, and love.(The Divine Love Vibration) www.heartmath.org/articles-of-the-heart/personal-development/you-can-change-your-dna/
SOOOOOOOOO......if it is possible "over time" to change DNA....then since time isn't linear, then instantaneous healing is already available.
I don't have the answer as to why it's not showing up yet.....but it will. In the meantime, love and accept yourself completely--In every breath. That is the start of changing all patterns. ( They tend to be interwoven)
Until next time....
The energies are so lovingly supporting our growth right now as individuals and as a collective. PHEW! Ha! Ha! With all of this shifting that is occurring, something is speaking to me loud and clear. And that very topic is attachments.
As you grow throughout your spiritual journey, there is a very common teaching to get rid of attachments. The teaching talks about attachments to things, people, places, etc. cause suffering. That the way to enlightenment is to release all attachments. I do understand the point the lesson is trying to make.
The point is that we hold onto things, people, places, etc and cause our own suffering and make our growth feel like we are going through mud because we are not willing to let go of anything in order to expand our consciousness. Have you, as a lightworker, ever worked on releasing all attachments, getting rid of all material things as to not be attached and deemed a place, person or thing toxic to you to rid yourself of attachment? (Of course if you are being abused in anyway, please know that I am not suggesting you stay in that situation ever) That all relationships (all forms) just weigh you down and keep you from enlightenment?
There comes a point on the journey where you recognize that in attachments so much growth occurs and in those attachments enlightenment happens. You might be asking, "huh?" I will explain from my perspective. The old paradigm was to rid yourself from all attachments, that is abundantly clear, and great to a point. The new paradigm is to have the attachments and to still move forward. We spend so much time ridding ourselves of attachments, letting go of things, people, places, healing from other things from our past....Do you see the theme? All negative connotations. That all of it is something to "get rid-off."
What if we are to embrace the attachments? Relationship is where a serious amount of growth occurs. Whether it's the relationship with ourselves, others, places, things, etc. What if we are to attach to whatever you wish to latch on? To embrace and feel ALL that there is to feel and emote with those connections? To do so consciously? To know, that with the attachments, there is a time that the energies of them will shift and transform? To lovingly embrace all that those shifts have to offer you as a human? (So many questions! ;-) )
We are no longer here to transcend the human experience, but rather are here to embrace the experience and integrate our Soul into this participitory process. This is heart-centered living my friends. To be raw, open and vulnerable in every moment. To attach and allow the flow to transmute and transform energies. To feel the attachments AND move forward in your life in whatever way is necessary. Very powerful stuff.
I am not talking about stagnating energies, I am talking about attaching AND keeping the flow. Some people may still say that it causes suffering so you should get rid of it....I say nope...it is a part of being alive. Embrace all of it (attachments included) and embrace closure (transmutation) when it happens. It is a breathtaking experience.
I love you. You are amazing. I am in awe.
Until next time...
This is where I put the things that the Divine wants me to share at this time. :-)